Women, furthermore, generally outlive men. The disruption to an advisor’s practice by divorce or client deaths can be significant as couples typically represent 60% of financial planners’ clients. Unfortunately, most advisors primarily work with only one member of a couple, typically the husband, so they fail to forge strong relationships with wives. The end result is that most women hire new advisors after they become widowed or divorced.

With that in mind, advisors would be well served to ensure that they are building relationships with both husbands and wives. To accomplish that goal, advisors need to rethink how they serve their clients and they should take measures to ensure that both members of a couple are included in the financial planning process.

More specifically, both should feel that their concerns and needs are being considered and addressed. One simple step is to gather contact information, including email addresses and work phone numbers for both members of a couple, which can make each member feel like they are being included in the planning process.

Advisors can also start things off on the right foot by inviting both members of a couple to participate in the fact finding process at the start of the financial planning process. It may be helpful to start the process by explaining that no two people agree on everything and that part of the financial planning process is to hash out agreements, including compromises on budgeting, appropriate levels of portfolio risk, and other matters.

During fact finding meetings, advisors should ensure that both the husband and wife are engaged in the process by asking each person questions. For example, if a husband says he would like to retire at 65, the advisor could ask the wife how she feels about that goal.

In many cases, however, only one member of a couple—typically the husband—will participate in the planning process. In such instances, advisors should emphasize that they want to address each person’s concerns and offer to discuss proposed financial plans over the phone with any member not present at face-to-face meetings.

At a minimum, advisors should offer to send copies of proposed financial plans and other correspondence to both members. Advisors should also encourage both members of a couple to attend routine portfolio reviews and financial checkups.

Sometimes, small actions can go a long way in helping make both husband and wife feel that they are being included in the planning process. For example, rather than emailing just one member of a couple, advisors should email both members.

The practice should be followed even when an advisor is responding to an inquiry from one member of a couple. Advisors should also assess the information that they have gathered on their clients and ensure that they have comparable information on both members of a couple. For example, does client data include information on both individuals’ job titles, salaries, education, hobbies and favorite charities?

Language can also play an important role in nurturing relationships with both members of a couple. In a recent white paper called “Get Closer: Solving the Couples Conundrum (PDF),” TIAA CREF identified empowering phrases that advisors should use. For example, rather than say to a client “Let me handle it,” advisors should say, “Here are you options.”

Other phrases that can make clients feel shut out of the planning process include:

• “I’ll talk to your spouse and get back to you”
• “We don’t need to worry about that now”
• “You have plenty of time until your retire”

Advisors should also be prepared to serve both members of a couple during divorcee proceedings. While such times can be awkward and challenging, they can be a powerful opportunity to ensure that each member of a couple continues to work with the advisor after a divorce. At such times, it’s important to offer to work closely with each client’s lawyers to ensure that appropriate financial planning actions are taken.

By taking the extra care to work closely with lawyers, advisors can demonstrate that they care about each client’s wellbeing, which can increase the chances that advisors will maintain each member of a couple as a client.